Grammar
Agreement
More errors occur in agreement than in any other area of grammar.
The most common problem in agreement is the failure to recognize a collective noun and, as a result, using a plural pronoun or verb with it. Collective nouns are considered singular in the United States. Collective nouns are words like class, team, group, committee, club, fraternity, company, etc.
Here are examples of incorrect usage:
1. Meanwhile, SMU gave their new coach, Ron Meyer, a victory.
2. The tennis team will play their next matches on Saturday afternoon.
3. The Rotary Club will hold their luncheon Thursday at the YMCA.
4. He said the company is doing better than they have in the past.
5. A headline: Texas receiver corps rank among Big 12’s best
Sometimes a prepositional phrase comes after a singular noun and incorrectly influences agreement. A prepositional construction does not -- except in a rare instance -- affect the agreement.
Here are examples of that problem:
1. The Badlands Hotel is a row of buildings that include a saloon, which offers nightly entertainment.
2. At the beginners' craps table, a cluster of young men and women stand as self-consciously as amateur actors at a rehearsal of Guys and Dolls.
Watch especially sentences in which the word group or a similar word that may not be necessary is the subject. In such instances, eliminate the word group or whatever and make the sentence plural. This won't always work, but it will work surprisingly often.
Sentences that could be improved by editing out the group idea:
1. A group of 100 people were on hand to meet him.
2. A team of debaters are competing for the national title.
3. A committee of four sophomores, three juniors and five seniors were elected.
4. A fleet of boats provide trips during the day to nearby islands.
5. The group of agents looking into the killings are being directed by Edward Sharp, the head of the organized crime section of the FBI.
Occasionally the group is indeed an entity and should be kept in the sentence. In such instances, be sure of the agreement.
In this example group is appropriate, but agreement is incorrect:
A group of Dallas businessmen, spearheaded by magazine publisher Wick Allison and real estate developer Dave Fox, are promoting a back to basics movement in local education.
Remember this rule:
A prepositional construction after a collective noun does not affect agreement. You should get in the habit of reading the sentence with the prepositional phrase set aside in some way so that you can identify the correct relationships between nouns, verbs and pronouns.
Sometimes the sentence has other problems in addition to agreement. Even though you may immediately spot an agreement problem, look to see what else might be wrong with the sentence.
Here is such a sentence:
The game, which kept the standing room only crowd of 6,777 on the edge of their seats at Will Rogers Coliseum, was as thrilling as any playoff game in league history.
Remember that many writers use group, team, committee or some other collective noun without thinking about the structure they are getting into. Your job as an editor is to straighten out that lack of thinking. Sports announcers by and large ignore the rule and refer to the singular team with a plural verb or pronoun over and over. Perhaps that influences others to do the same.
Sometimes disagreement results with unnecessary shifts from plural to singular in the sentence:
Examples of incorrect shifts:
1. The artists displayed their work at the fair.
2. The students were lined up to pay their bill.
3. The rookies watched the last Cowboys-Packers game in the comfort of their living room.
4. The students said their lifestyle is better than that their parents enjoyed at the same age.
Number
Each and any word signifying each is singular: one, no one, someone, everyone, anyone.
Examples of incorrect use of each:
1. Each of us have our own transportation.
2. Each of us are going to the meeting in separate cars.
3. Each senator has their own personal mailbox.
Neither by itself is singular. In either/or and neither/nor constructions, the verb should agree with the closest subject.
Correct these sentences:
1. Neither of us are interested in going.
2. Neither CBS nor ABC have indicated any willingness to settle.
3. Neither his wife nor his parents was aware of the difficulty.
4. Either the officers or the fraternity have to take the blame.
The word number depends on whether “a” or “the” is used. The number is singular. A number is plural. Examples of correct usage:
The number of scholarships is limited.
A number of us are going to the game Saturday.
None can be singular or plural depending upon the context. However, many people prefer that none be used only in a singular construction. In sentences in which a singular usage with none isn't reasonable, get rid of the none and reword the sentence.
Uses of none that would better be reworded to eliminate the none:
None of us are going to be able to make it to the game Saturday.
None of the 40 members of the organization said they could go.
Verbs
The verbs that give everyone the most trouble are lie/lay, sit/set, affect/effect/lend/loan and proved/proven.
Lie/lay: The principal parts are lie/lay/lain/lying and lay/laid/laid/laying. To lie is intransitive, meaning that it cannot take an object. To lay is transitive, meaning that it must take an object. Here are examples of correct usage:
She was lying on the sofa.
She lay down to take a nap.
She laid the book on the table.
Lie and lay figure in many colloquialisms. It's the lie of the ball and the lay of the land. Laying by is a farming term.
Don't confuse these words with the verb to lie, meaning to make a false statement. The principal parts are lie/lied/lied/lying. Don't use this lie unless you mean it and are able to prove it. To lie, meaning to tell a falsehood, is most derogatory.
The flowers that you get in Hawaii are a lei (singular) or leis (plural).
Sit/set: The principal parts are sit/sat/sat/sitting and set/set/set/setting. Sit is intransitive. Set is transitive. Examples of correct usage:
She sat down at the piano and began to play.
She set the bottle on the mantel.
Affect/effect: Affect is a verb. Effect can be a noun or a verb. Usually it is a noun. Examples:
Don't let her situation affect you.
What are the effects of her action?
When effect is a verb, it means to bring about, cause to occur, as in to effect a settlement.
Lend/loan: Use lend as a verb and loan as a noun. The principal parts of lend are lend/lent/lent/lending.
Proved/proven. Use proved as a verb, proven as an adjective. The principal parts of verb are prove/proved/proved/proving. A proofreader reads proofs, but the verb to prove should be used to explain that the reader had proved type that has been set (not proofed).
Linking Verbs
Being able to recognize a linking verb can be important for two reasons: 1) you can identify situations in which you must use a predicate nominative; and 2) You can know when to use an adjective (a predicate adjective) instead of an adverb after a verb.
The common linking verb is to be in all its forms: is, are, was, were. After a to be verb, you must use a predicate nominative. Example:
It was he who called.
Other verbs can be linking also. These additional linking verbs have to do with looking, appearing and feeling. The most common linking verbs, in addition to the forms of to be, are
appear, become, feel, get, grow, look, seem, smell, sound, taste.
Knowing that these are linking verbs tells us that they take an adjective and not an adverb. Examples:
He feels bad.
He looks bad.
Some other verbs may be linking verbs in instances in which the action reverts to the subject. These include lie, sit and turn. Examples:
He lay still.
He sat erect.
This milk has turned sour.
The weather is going to turn bad.
When the emphasis is on the verb, the adverb would be correct, as in:
He sat directly across the aisle from her.
He turned slowly.
Read slowly.
Deciding whether bad or badly is correct is a common problem. Bad is an adjective and can be easily recognized as an adjective in bad storm, bad health, bad debt. Badly is, obviously, an adverb. But when is badly the appropriate word to use? Here's the rule: When the action relates to the verb and not to the subject, use the adjective.
The best sentence to use in trying to think through this problem is:
The skunk smelled (bad, badly).
Bad indicates that the skunk is bad to the smell. Badly would indicate the skunk had trouble smelling. But, knowing that smell is a linking verb is of utmost importance. Because it is, it must take an adjective. Another example:
The child felt bad about dropping the cup.
Again, felt is a linking verb and must take the adjective bad, not badly.
Pronouns
A basic problem in all forms of communication is the misuse of the pronoun.
Misuse of pronouns seems to have gotten more common through the years. Here's a review of the two main cases of pronouns:
Nominative: I, we, she, he, they, who.
Objective: me, us, her, him, them, whom.
Pronouns are used in the nominative case as the subject of the sentence, or as predicate nominatives. Pronouns are used in the objective case as the object of the preposition or the indirect object of the verb. Pronouns are used in the possessive case to show possession.
Predicate nominatives: This is most often a problem when the sentence is turned around, as in: Was it he? The pronouns surrounding the to be form of the verb must be in the nominative case:
I knew it was he.
If I were he ...
It was she.
Objective pronouns: One of the most common and most irritating solecisms comes from the confusion of the case of the pronoun. Me, us, her, him, them, whom are in the objective case. They must be used as the indirect object of the verb or the object of a preposition:
She gave me a present.
She gave the book to me.
I don't think anyone recognized the couple as Charlie and me.
These examples deal with me. But, of course, the situation is applicable to the other forms of the objective case. In a construction in which the preposition between is used, for example, the correct usage would be between him and me, between her and him, between her and me, between them and me, etc.
Possessives: Use the possessive in constructions such as: Is that car hers? or Is that Mary's? Also, use the possessive with a preposition in the construction: I am a friend of Mary's (not Mary).
The possessive is used before a gerund in: I don't like your going out at night by yourself. The objective form may be used when the meaning is emphatic: His mother was proud of him doing that. But, note that the objective form won't always be logically correct.
A better approach would be to use the possessive before a gerund, but change the sentence to create a prepositional construction for the emphatic meaning:
Mother discouraged my playing.
Mother discouraged me from playing.
Who and Whom
Who and whom may be difficult, but they are not impossible.
Mastering their use requires a great deal of attention in writing and speaking. But the reward is the satisfaction of knowing that you have mastered grammar's most tricky construction.
Who and whom often appear in sentences that are turned around or have more than one subject and verb. This is what makes the distinction difficult.
The best way to grasp the distinction in who and whom is to establish in what situations who and whom appear, and to collect sentences that conform to each of the various usages.
Who appears in three instances:
1. When who is the subject of the verb and the verb is with who.
Who is it?
Who asked for me?
May I say who is calling?
Who called last night while I was away?
Maybe they just broke up with someone who meant a lot to them.
2. When who is the subject of the verb but another noun and verb are inserted between who and its verb.
She is the woman who police believe took the jewels.
Ed (Too Tall) Jones, who Landry says is playing at a more consistent level than at any time in his pro career, was named the Oak Farms Most Valuable Player for his efforts against the Cardinals.
3. As a predicate nominative.
He knows who the winner is.
Do you remember who it was we invited first?
Whom appears in two situations.
1. As the object of the preposition.
A. In one instance the preposition and whom may be together:
To whom did he give the money?
B. Or, whom can be separated from the preposition, as:
Whom did the police come for?
You know whom you are dealing with.
2. As the indirect object of the verb.
They asked whom he would name.
Who was the Black Rider whom the Hobbits saw in the foggy darkness?
It was not unusual for a team, before making a pick, to run to the phone to call one of its friends around the country to find out whom it should select.
Conner declined to say whom he contacted in the White House to arrange the meeting.
Whoever/whomever follow the same rules:
She is encouraging them to write to their favorite player, whoever that may be.
Give the package to whoever answers the door.
Here are examples of misuse of who and whom:
Since her election, Mrs. Whitmire has been silent on who she would appoint as chief.
Now he is a prophet and patriarch, looking much like Tolstoy, who he once read, with his long beard and graying hair.
Wright's last primary opponent was former City Councilman Tommy Thompson, who Wright defeated by more than 10 to 1.
Those include Jim Spanarkel, who SMU fans might remember seeing in the fall when Duke ravaged the Mustangs in Moody Coliseum.
Timothy Leary's sell-out audience at Emory University Tuesday night did not contain the ones who consider him a vile moral corrupter, but mostly curious college students who he urged, as he pranced back and forth with the microphone, to get off his planet.
The Conditional
The conditional is the required tense when presenting an idea is that is improbable. Examples:
If she were alive ...
If I were in her shoes ...
If I were he ...
If I were in Boston ...
Note that the concept being discussed might be possible. But it is unlikely.
Also notice that the If I were he construction creates a predicate nominative.
Like and As
Like and as may be a preposition or conjunction, depending upon usage.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Attribution and Variation
Attribution
Said serves the purpose of attribution, and synonyms for said aren't necessarily good. Don't use according to, cited, commented, stated, added, feels, thinks and believes. Attribution serves a definite purpose: to indicate who said what. Synonyms for said should not be used because the writer or editor thinks that said can be repetitious.
Repetition is not bad in writing. When done right, repetition can be good. Writers should vary the placement of said so that all sentences with quotes or paraphrases don't look alike. This should be a natural variation, though. Such variation enables the writer to de-emphasize the word said. In that way the reader gets used to seeing the attribution but isn't distracted by it.
Readers who are good with the language can be distracted by a poorly chosen word of attribution. Writers need to concentrate on the placement of attribution, not on varying the words used in attribution. Editors should check to be sure the writer has the right word of attribution in the right place.
Notice the bad effect of varying the attribution in this example:
“I had good velocity, maybe my best of the season,” Ryan admitted after hurling his first complete game and hiking his career strikeout total to 3,148, third best in the history of the game.
Was Nolan Ryan under interrogation? What was there about this situation that required him to admit to anything?
Some writers use attribution to guide the reader through written material. They use continued, added, also said, concluded, etc. Don't let the writer do that in copy you edit.
Using attribution correctly is one of the tests of good writing.
Tense
The past tense -- said -- is better. Set up the writing in such a way that the reader knows why this particular piece is being written, what's going on, where it is taking place and who is involved. That means that by the time the story gets to the reader everything has already happened. The use of the past tense -- said -- sets the story in time.
The present tense -- says -- could be appropriate under certain circumstances. But if the writer and editor don't have a compelling reason to use some other tense, use the past tense.
Feels, Thinks and Believes
The words feel, think and believe should not be used as words of attribution. Said should be used. When feel, think and believe are used, they should be used after the attribution has already been set: He said he …
Be extremely careful with feel. Use it only when well-being is described: He said he wasn't feeling so well today. That is the only legitimate use of feel.
Use believe in dealing with principles that a person has or in describing a person's religious beliefs: He said he believes in the priesthood of believers. (We are assuming the belief continues, and therefore the present tense believes would be appropriate.)
Use think after the verb of attribution when ideas are involved: He said he thought he had a chance of winning. Notice that felt or believed would be inappropriate in that sentence.
To take an example of a very bad sentence:
He felt the team had a chance to beat Oklahoma.
Changing felt to thought or believed would not provide the word of attribution, which is needed. But felt is not appropriate in this context. Thought is preferred. Therefore, the sentence should be edited to read:
He said he thought the team had a chance to beat Texas.
Or, better still:
He said the team had a chance to beat Texas.
According To
Use according to when citing a source of unquestionable authenticity, such as census statistics, or when the source of the information is apocryphal: According to legend ... Avoid according to in other situations.
Quotes and Paraphrases
Direct quotations, with quotation marks around them, are used to capture the exact words of a person and to give the flavor of the way that person talks. Direct quotes help to authenticate the writing.
Paraphrases give the literal sense of what was said. They don't have to be exact. The writer has freedom in choosing the way to present the information. Synonyms can be used. Long statements can be condensed. A paraphrase can clarify and simplify.
Direct quotes and paraphrases serve different purposes. Direct quotes can give verbatim accounts of what people say and how they say it. Paraphrases provide additional information and put together pieces of information that might not stand alone.
Editors should never, never, never arbitrarily place quotation marks around material being edited. But editors can change quotes to paraphrases when circumstances demand.
Some statements aren't going to be appropriate in direct quotation:
“I don't want to go to Waxahachie,” she said. That has minimal value as a quotation and would be better in a paraphrase: She said she didn't want to go to Waxahachie.
Edit out the “When asked ...” construction. This unnecessarily involves the writer and is an extremely poor way of writing. Let the quotes stand out and make clear that they were said in an interview.
Partial Quotes
Try your best to avoid partial quotes. Writers usually use them in an attempt to capture the exact language. But, a paraphrase could serve that purpose. Examples: She said that was the “best book” she had read in years. She said she would “do her best” to meet the deadline. In both of these the ideas of “best book” and “do her best” could be gotten across without the use of the quotation marks.
Here are examples in which partial quotes weren't necessary:
Jere Cox, the spokesman, said his company notified airport officials of its decision to “defer” its bond request in a letter dated March 21.
Mrs. Adams said she and her boyfriend, Bernard Deters, 39, were two of witnesses “invited” to testify before the grand jury.
Former Foreign Minister Sean MacBride of Ireland said today the United States and “the Iranians” have agreed to a plan to release the U.S. hostages “before or concurrently with” the opening of a U.N.-sponsored inquiry into the shah's regime.
The United States and its Western allies have established an international “sting” operation to foil attempts to sell embargoed grain to the Soviet Union, Agriculture Secretary Bob Bergland said Thursday.
Save the partial quotes for the rare occasion in which you need to emphasize the exact wording of a controversial statement. The rest of the time the writer and editor should try to get across the idea without having to use partial quotes.
Partial quotes would be acceptable in a situation in which the quotes give the word an ironic or opposite meaning the word would have without the quotes. Example:
Nanos spent two weeks with the decoy squad last summer and was mugged every night, an unprecedented “success” rate.
Combining Identification and Background with Attribution
Related to attribution is the problem of identification. Attribution should be as simple as possible and not get in the way of what is being said. Identification should also be simple, but it should be presented separately from attribution. Avoid synonyms for identification. Examples of how not to do it:
...said the 38-year-old father of two.
...said the blue-eyed girl.
...said the native of Ireland.
In situations such as these, use the person's name or the pronoun she or he.
All those other words are used to tell something about the person that, in the context of the writing, may be incidental. This is the salt-and-pepper approach to writing: drop in a fact here and there. Stay away from that approach.
Details, facts, background information and description should be presented in a context set apart from attribution. The writer should be able to keep the elements together that belong together and should separate elements that don't belong together. If for some reason the writer doesn't do that, the editor has an obligation to straighten out the structure.
Approaches to avoid:
...said the granddaughter of Henry Morgenthau Sr. and the daughter of Maurice Wertheim, an international banker, publisher, philanthropist and sportsman.
“I've changed a lot from my early days,” said Muckler, who admits to being an average minor league defenseman during an eight-year career.
“I think women should register for the draft,” says 21-year-old
Melanie Tyler.
The kitchen off the breakfast room is small and compact, “just the way I wanted it,” the charming young married revealed.
“I never thought it would happen like this,” said the son of a Phoenix Motorola engineer who grew up in Arlington Hts., Ill., but moved to Phoenix for his high school days.
“They've got a real good pass rush,” said Zorn, picked up as a rookie free agent quarterback by the Cowboys. “You get behind and there's not much else they have to do. Just tee off on you.”
“I've entered these Publisher's Clearing House Giveaways since I was 19,” says the 28-year-old Ms. Walter, who lives in Norfolk, Va.
“Well to tell you the truth, the most nervous I've ever been was riding in the Water Melon Derby out in Colorado,” said Kaenel, who earned a spot on Aloma's Ruler with his victory in the Wood Memorial last week.
“There was a lot of pressure on me there because the horse I was on had won something like six races in a row.”
Inexact Introduction: Combining Observation with Attribution
Inexact introduction occurs when what is said at the beginning of the sentence doesn't lead into what is said after the comma. The introductory material must relate to the main part of the sentence directly. The connection must be both grammatically and logically correct. When the logic is missing, a non sequitur is created.
In journalistic writing this problem develops most commonly when a statement made by the writer (in an attempt at clarification or amplification) and then
attribution is used to introduce a thought that isn't directly related to the observation.
Examples of constructions that must be changed:
1. Characterizing his life, Moore said...
2. With both Dallas and Fort Worth nearby, she said that she has not been limited.
3. Aside from the lack of reading and writing, Smith said....
4. In notetaking, he said that.....
5. When attributing material, he said to use the.....
6. In addition to reading, he told the class...
7. Looking back, he said, “Success had more of an effect on me than I realized.”
8. In an interview with her on Tuesday, she said she had experienced working both in front and behind the camera.
9. Even though the various departments did not make the requested cuts, Brown said that no tax rate increase would be needed next year under the present level of services being considered by the commissioners.
10. If it is nonfiction, he said that a publisher will be.....
11. Using the fundamental approach to investing, Cadell said lately he's been advising his clients to broaden their investments and to stay in cash buying or treasury bills because they yield more.
When the attribution comes in the middle of two paraphrases, it should be set off by commas and both sides of the sentence should be paraphrases. Otherwise, the first part of the paraphrase looks like a condition of the second part. Here's how not to do it:
When she was in the seventh grade, she said she finally got on a
summer team that was organized for girls.
Setting the attribution off with commas can clarify the time:
When she was in the seventh grade, she said, she finally got on a summer team that was organized for girls.
Still, the sentence would read better as:
She said she finally got on a summer team that was organized for girls when she was in the seventh grade.
Occasionally, even that technique won't work. An example:
During a routine check of the club, police said they found Crosby free-basing cocaine.
What needs to be done to edit that sentence successfully?
The best writing is simple, clear and straightforward. Writers get into trouble when they fool around with sentence structure. The basic information is best presented separately. Keep background together. Don't mix attribution and background. Don't mix attribution and observation. If the intent is to say that someone said such and such, say that. Don't introduce the paraphrase or quote with an observation.
Attribution can be moved around in both quotes and paraphrases. But it must be moved carefully and with consideration of the effects the placement of the attribution has on the information being presented.
The writer doesn't want to present every sentence with the same pattern of attribution. Some thought and logical sentence structure can open up many possibilities for variation other than what is being presented here.
Story organization can be improved by grouping paraphrases within a paragraph and setting full quotes aside in separate paragraphs.
Elegant Variation
Don't substitute words of identification, description or background as synonyms for a person's name or the pronoun representing that name.
Examples of what not to do:
The autistic patient's death ...
The one-time varsity tennis player's heart ...
Walton's foot specialist, Dr. Thomas Daly, examined the big redhead in Los Angeles Wednesday.
“I was pretty consistent,” the Mission Viejo, Calif., diver said, “and I'm glad of that.”
As she fought death, the paralyzed cheerleader's friends and loved ones fought alongside her.
The new $25 million Reunion Arena's ice surface can be prepared for ice hockey or ice shows in 12 hours.
“The action is the same in Atlantic City, and it's a lot closer to home,” the machinist said.
Rep. Leland's office said the congressman was attending a meeting and had planned to vote.
The 56-year-old newspaperman's responses were peppered with ...
The Oklahoma native studied at ...
The commercial artist describes his work as ...
The native of Los Angeles learned the hard way that ...
Copyright David McHam
Said serves the purpose of attribution, and synonyms for said aren't necessarily good. Don't use according to, cited, commented, stated, added, feels, thinks and believes. Attribution serves a definite purpose: to indicate who said what. Synonyms for said should not be used because the writer or editor thinks that said can be repetitious.
Repetition is not bad in writing. When done right, repetition can be good. Writers should vary the placement of said so that all sentences with quotes or paraphrases don't look alike. This should be a natural variation, though. Such variation enables the writer to de-emphasize the word said. In that way the reader gets used to seeing the attribution but isn't distracted by it.
Readers who are good with the language can be distracted by a poorly chosen word of attribution. Writers need to concentrate on the placement of attribution, not on varying the words used in attribution. Editors should check to be sure the writer has the right word of attribution in the right place.
Notice the bad effect of varying the attribution in this example:
“I had good velocity, maybe my best of the season,” Ryan admitted after hurling his first complete game and hiking his career strikeout total to 3,148, third best in the history of the game.
Was Nolan Ryan under interrogation? What was there about this situation that required him to admit to anything?
Some writers use attribution to guide the reader through written material. They use continued, added, also said, concluded, etc. Don't let the writer do that in copy you edit.
Using attribution correctly is one of the tests of good writing.
Tense
The past tense -- said -- is better. Set up the writing in such a way that the reader knows why this particular piece is being written, what's going on, where it is taking place and who is involved. That means that by the time the story gets to the reader everything has already happened. The use of the past tense -- said -- sets the story in time.
The present tense -- says -- could be appropriate under certain circumstances. But if the writer and editor don't have a compelling reason to use some other tense, use the past tense.
Feels, Thinks and Believes
The words feel, think and believe should not be used as words of attribution. Said should be used. When feel, think and believe are used, they should be used after the attribution has already been set: He said he …
Be extremely careful with feel. Use it only when well-being is described: He said he wasn't feeling so well today. That is the only legitimate use of feel.
Use believe in dealing with principles that a person has or in describing a person's religious beliefs: He said he believes in the priesthood of believers. (We are assuming the belief continues, and therefore the present tense believes would be appropriate.)
Use think after the verb of attribution when ideas are involved: He said he thought he had a chance of winning. Notice that felt or believed would be inappropriate in that sentence.
To take an example of a very bad sentence:
He felt the team had a chance to beat Oklahoma.
Changing felt to thought or believed would not provide the word of attribution, which is needed. But felt is not appropriate in this context. Thought is preferred. Therefore, the sentence should be edited to read:
He said he thought the team had a chance to beat Texas.
Or, better still:
He said the team had a chance to beat Texas.
According To
Use according to when citing a source of unquestionable authenticity, such as census statistics, or when the source of the information is apocryphal: According to legend ... Avoid according to in other situations.
Quotes and Paraphrases
Direct quotations, with quotation marks around them, are used to capture the exact words of a person and to give the flavor of the way that person talks. Direct quotes help to authenticate the writing.
Paraphrases give the literal sense of what was said. They don't have to be exact. The writer has freedom in choosing the way to present the information. Synonyms can be used. Long statements can be condensed. A paraphrase can clarify and simplify.
Direct quotes and paraphrases serve different purposes. Direct quotes can give verbatim accounts of what people say and how they say it. Paraphrases provide additional information and put together pieces of information that might not stand alone.
Editors should never, never, never arbitrarily place quotation marks around material being edited. But editors can change quotes to paraphrases when circumstances demand.
Some statements aren't going to be appropriate in direct quotation:
“I don't want to go to Waxahachie,” she said. That has minimal value as a quotation and would be better in a paraphrase: She said she didn't want to go to Waxahachie.
Edit out the “When asked ...” construction. This unnecessarily involves the writer and is an extremely poor way of writing. Let the quotes stand out and make clear that they were said in an interview.
Partial Quotes
Try your best to avoid partial quotes. Writers usually use them in an attempt to capture the exact language. But, a paraphrase could serve that purpose. Examples: She said that was the “best book” she had read in years. She said she would “do her best” to meet the deadline. In both of these the ideas of “best book” and “do her best” could be gotten across without the use of the quotation marks.
Here are examples in which partial quotes weren't necessary:
Jere Cox, the spokesman, said his company notified airport officials of its decision to “defer” its bond request in a letter dated March 21.
Mrs. Adams said she and her boyfriend, Bernard Deters, 39, were two of witnesses “invited” to testify before the grand jury.
Former Foreign Minister Sean MacBride of Ireland said today the United States and “the Iranians” have agreed to a plan to release the U.S. hostages “before or concurrently with” the opening of a U.N.-sponsored inquiry into the shah's regime.
The United States and its Western allies have established an international “sting” operation to foil attempts to sell embargoed grain to the Soviet Union, Agriculture Secretary Bob Bergland said Thursday.
Save the partial quotes for the rare occasion in which you need to emphasize the exact wording of a controversial statement. The rest of the time the writer and editor should try to get across the idea without having to use partial quotes.
Partial quotes would be acceptable in a situation in which the quotes give the word an ironic or opposite meaning the word would have without the quotes. Example:
Nanos spent two weeks with the decoy squad last summer and was mugged every night, an unprecedented “success” rate.
Combining Identification and Background with Attribution
Related to attribution is the problem of identification. Attribution should be as simple as possible and not get in the way of what is being said. Identification should also be simple, but it should be presented separately from attribution. Avoid synonyms for identification. Examples of how not to do it:
...said the 38-year-old father of two.
...said the blue-eyed girl.
...said the native of Ireland.
In situations such as these, use the person's name or the pronoun she or he.
All those other words are used to tell something about the person that, in the context of the writing, may be incidental. This is the salt-and-pepper approach to writing: drop in a fact here and there. Stay away from that approach.
Details, facts, background information and description should be presented in a context set apart from attribution. The writer should be able to keep the elements together that belong together and should separate elements that don't belong together. If for some reason the writer doesn't do that, the editor has an obligation to straighten out the structure.
Approaches to avoid:
...said the granddaughter of Henry Morgenthau Sr. and the daughter of Maurice Wertheim, an international banker, publisher, philanthropist and sportsman.
“I've changed a lot from my early days,” said Muckler, who admits to being an average minor league defenseman during an eight-year career.
“I think women should register for the draft,” says 21-year-old
Melanie Tyler.
The kitchen off the breakfast room is small and compact, “just the way I wanted it,” the charming young married revealed.
“I never thought it would happen like this,” said the son of a Phoenix Motorola engineer who grew up in Arlington Hts., Ill., but moved to Phoenix for his high school days.
“They've got a real good pass rush,” said Zorn, picked up as a rookie free agent quarterback by the Cowboys. “You get behind and there's not much else they have to do. Just tee off on you.”
“I've entered these Publisher's Clearing House Giveaways since I was 19,” says the 28-year-old Ms. Walter, who lives in Norfolk, Va.
“Well to tell you the truth, the most nervous I've ever been was riding in the Water Melon Derby out in Colorado,” said Kaenel, who earned a spot on Aloma's Ruler with his victory in the Wood Memorial last week.
“There was a lot of pressure on me there because the horse I was on had won something like six races in a row.”
Inexact Introduction: Combining Observation with Attribution
Inexact introduction occurs when what is said at the beginning of the sentence doesn't lead into what is said after the comma. The introductory material must relate to the main part of the sentence directly. The connection must be both grammatically and logically correct. When the logic is missing, a non sequitur is created.
In journalistic writing this problem develops most commonly when a statement made by the writer (in an attempt at clarification or amplification) and then
attribution is used to introduce a thought that isn't directly related to the observation.
Examples of constructions that must be changed:
1. Characterizing his life, Moore said...
2. With both Dallas and Fort Worth nearby, she said that she has not been limited.
3. Aside from the lack of reading and writing, Smith said....
4. In notetaking, he said that.....
5. When attributing material, he said to use the.....
6. In addition to reading, he told the class...
7. Looking back, he said, “Success had more of an effect on me than I realized.”
8. In an interview with her on Tuesday, she said she had experienced working both in front and behind the camera.
9. Even though the various departments did not make the requested cuts, Brown said that no tax rate increase would be needed next year under the present level of services being considered by the commissioners.
10. If it is nonfiction, he said that a publisher will be.....
11. Using the fundamental approach to investing, Cadell said lately he's been advising his clients to broaden their investments and to stay in cash buying or treasury bills because they yield more.
When the attribution comes in the middle of two paraphrases, it should be set off by commas and both sides of the sentence should be paraphrases. Otherwise, the first part of the paraphrase looks like a condition of the second part. Here's how not to do it:
When she was in the seventh grade, she said she finally got on a
summer team that was organized for girls.
Setting the attribution off with commas can clarify the time:
When she was in the seventh grade, she said, she finally got on a summer team that was organized for girls.
Still, the sentence would read better as:
She said she finally got on a summer team that was organized for girls when she was in the seventh grade.
Occasionally, even that technique won't work. An example:
During a routine check of the club, police said they found Crosby free-basing cocaine.
What needs to be done to edit that sentence successfully?
The best writing is simple, clear and straightforward. Writers get into trouble when they fool around with sentence structure. The basic information is best presented separately. Keep background together. Don't mix attribution and background. Don't mix attribution and observation. If the intent is to say that someone said such and such, say that. Don't introduce the paraphrase or quote with an observation.
Attribution can be moved around in both quotes and paraphrases. But it must be moved carefully and with consideration of the effects the placement of the attribution has on the information being presented.
The writer doesn't want to present every sentence with the same pattern of attribution. Some thought and logical sentence structure can open up many possibilities for variation other than what is being presented here.
Story organization can be improved by grouping paraphrases within a paragraph and setting full quotes aside in separate paragraphs.
Elegant Variation
Don't substitute words of identification, description or background as synonyms for a person's name or the pronoun representing that name.
Examples of what not to do:
The autistic patient's death ...
The one-time varsity tennis player's heart ...
Walton's foot specialist, Dr. Thomas Daly, examined the big redhead in Los Angeles Wednesday.
“I was pretty consistent,” the Mission Viejo, Calif., diver said, “and I'm glad of that.”
As she fought death, the paralyzed cheerleader's friends and loved ones fought alongside her.
The new $25 million Reunion Arena's ice surface can be prepared for ice hockey or ice shows in 12 hours.
“The action is the same in Atlantic City, and it's a lot closer to home,” the machinist said.
Rep. Leland's office said the congressman was attending a meeting and had planned to vote.
The 56-year-old newspaperman's responses were peppered with ...
The Oklahoma native studied at ...
The commercial artist describes his work as ...
The native of Los Angeles learned the hard way that ...
Copyright David McHam
Friday, March 2, 2007
Five Common Writing Errors
1. Subject-verb Agreement.
Contractions
WRONG: He don’t get it.
RIGHT: He doesn’t get it.
Using a Singular or Plural Verb
WRONG: John and Mary is here.
RIGHT: John and Mary are here.
Singular Indefinite Pronouns, Plural Indefinite Pronouns.
WRONG: Everyone take out their pens.
RIGHT: Everyone take out his (or her) pen.
(Reminder: the singular indefinite pronouns are anyone, everyone, everybody, someone, somebody, one, each, either, anybody, no one).
2. Comma Blunder (Run-ons).
WRONG: Running two sentences together without conjunctions or correct punctuations.
RIGHT: John saw her arrive, he was glad. (run-on)
RIGHT: John saw her arrive, and he was glad.
RIGHT: John saw her arrive; he was glad.
RIGHT: John saw her arrive. He was glad.
3. Fragments.
Fragments are parts of sentences punctuated as if they were complete. Often, broadcasters use fragments. Please do not do so in writing.
WRONG: Because it rained. (dependent clause)
WRONG: Into the night. (prepositional phrase)
WRONG: Relieved of his problems. (past participial phrase)
WRONG: Jumping into the water. (present participial phrase)
RIGHT: Because it rained, we stayed home.
RIGHT: The police worked long into the night. (or, Late into the night, the police worked to find the culprits).
RIGHT: Relieved of his problems, his mood brightened.
RIGHT: Jumping into the water, Harry started swimming.
4. Faulty Pronoun Reference. Do not shift persons in mid-sentence.
WRONG: I like to run because running builds your muscles.
RIGHT: I like to run because running builds my muscles.
WRONG: When someone overeats, they may get overweight.
RIGHT: When someone overeats, he may get overweight.
5. Shifts in Tenses. The simplest tense to use is the simple past tense. Almost all print journalism should be written in the simple past tense.
WRONG: Mary meets John and married him.
RIGHT: Mary met John and married him.
Contractions
WRONG: He don’t get it.
RIGHT: He doesn’t get it.
Using a Singular or Plural Verb
WRONG: John and Mary is here.
RIGHT: John and Mary are here.
Singular Indefinite Pronouns, Plural Indefinite Pronouns.
WRONG: Everyone take out their pens.
RIGHT: Everyone take out his (or her) pen.
(Reminder: the singular indefinite pronouns are anyone, everyone, everybody, someone, somebody, one, each, either, anybody, no one).
2. Comma Blunder (Run-ons).
WRONG: Running two sentences together without conjunctions or correct punctuations.
RIGHT: John saw her arrive, he was glad. (run-on)
RIGHT: John saw her arrive, and he was glad.
RIGHT: John saw her arrive; he was glad.
RIGHT: John saw her arrive. He was glad.
3. Fragments.
Fragments are parts of sentences punctuated as if they were complete. Often, broadcasters use fragments. Please do not do so in writing.
WRONG: Because it rained. (dependent clause)
WRONG: Into the night. (prepositional phrase)
WRONG: Relieved of his problems. (past participial phrase)
WRONG: Jumping into the water. (present participial phrase)
RIGHT: Because it rained, we stayed home.
RIGHT: The police worked long into the night. (or, Late into the night, the police worked to find the culprits).
RIGHT: Relieved of his problems, his mood brightened.
RIGHT: Jumping into the water, Harry started swimming.
4. Faulty Pronoun Reference. Do not shift persons in mid-sentence.
WRONG: I like to run because running builds your muscles.
RIGHT: I like to run because running builds my muscles.
WRONG: When someone overeats, they may get overweight.
RIGHT: When someone overeats, he may get overweight.
5. Shifts in Tenses. The simplest tense to use is the simple past tense. Almost all print journalism should be written in the simple past tense.
WRONG: Mary meets John and married him.
RIGHT: Mary met John and married him.
Other Punctuation
Quote Marks.
Quote marks indicate exact words used by the speaker. The quote marks always go outside the punctuation marks. He said, “I will not run for mayor.”
Semi-Colons.
Semi-colons have two uses. One is to connect two sentences close in meaning, They are used in place of the Coordinating Conjunction. The boy left; he was tired.
The second use of the semi-colon is to hold name and title: The officers of the club are: Jane Smith, president; Janet Jones, vice president; Harry Smythe, treasurer.
Hyphens and Dashes.
Hyphens connect words, such as in the sentence, The gray-haired teacher left.
When the hyphen is used, it often makes two words that are not adjectives into adjectives. In this case, “gray-haired” modifies “teacher.”
The dash is used to say, That is to say.
Example: No one left—no one had the courage.
Quote marks indicate exact words used by the speaker. The quote marks always go outside the punctuation marks. He said, “I will not run for mayor.”
Semi-Colons.
Semi-colons have two uses. One is to connect two sentences close in meaning, They are used in place of the Coordinating Conjunction. The boy left; he was tired.
The second use of the semi-colon is to hold name and title: The officers of the club are: Jane Smith, president; Janet Jones, vice president; Harry Smythe, treasurer.
Hyphens and Dashes.
Hyphens connect words, such as in the sentence, The gray-haired teacher left.
When the hyphen is used, it often makes two words that are not adjectives into adjectives. In this case, “gray-haired” modifies “teacher.”
The dash is used to say, That is to say.
Example: No one left—no one had the courage.
Punctuation: Periods and Commas
Punctuation makes ideas clear for they help the readers’ eyes move from one idea to the next.
The Period:
1. The period ends declarative sentences. I am tired.
2. The period is used to abbreviate dates. It was Jan. 25, 2006.
3. The period indicates a decimal point. It cost $2.95.
4. The period follows someone’s initials. He is called J.T. Smith.
The Comma:
1. Separates independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but, yet, for). If a sentence is short, no comma is needed. McCrary’s use of the unnecessary metals is annoying, but the students put up with his lectures. I like him for he is nice.
2. Separates a dependent clause preceding a main clause. Since he left early, he missed the performance.
3. Separates words that might be unclear. What the problem is, is unclear.
4. Separates words in Apposition. John Smithton, president of the Ayers Foundry and first man to run for mayor from the newly-formed District One, denied any knowledge of the payoff.
5. Separates parenthetical words and phrases necessary for transitions. However, the man was arrested later.
6. Separates year, date, city and state. It was Jan. 10 when he left Dallas, Texas.
7. Separates exclamatory figures. John Smith, 22, was arrested, according to police.
8. Separates nominative of address. He said, Mr. Speaker, may I have the floor?
9. Separates off direct quotes. She said, “How about you, Mister Speaker?”
10. Separates items in a series. The old, green, house collapsed in the high wind.
11. Separates prepositional, participial and infinitive phrases preceding the main clause. Having suffered heavy losses, the troops withdrew. To provide the incentive, Jones listed six options. After days of heavy filibustering, the Senate passed the bill.
The Period:
1. The period ends declarative sentences. I am tired.
2. The period is used to abbreviate dates. It was Jan. 25, 2006.
3. The period indicates a decimal point. It cost $2.95.
4. The period follows someone’s initials. He is called J.T. Smith.
The Comma:
1. Separates independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but, yet, for). If a sentence is short, no comma is needed. McCrary’s use of the unnecessary metals is annoying, but the students put up with his lectures. I like him for he is nice.
2. Separates a dependent clause preceding a main clause. Since he left early, he missed the performance.
3. Separates words that might be unclear. What the problem is, is unclear.
4. Separates words in Apposition. John Smithton, president of the Ayers Foundry and first man to run for mayor from the newly-formed District One, denied any knowledge of the payoff.
5. Separates parenthetical words and phrases necessary for transitions. However, the man was arrested later.
6. Separates year, date, city and state. It was Jan. 10 when he left Dallas, Texas.
7. Separates exclamatory figures. John Smith, 22, was arrested, according to police.
8. Separates nominative of address. He said, Mr. Speaker, may I have the floor?
9. Separates off direct quotes. She said, “How about you, Mister Speaker?”
10. Separates items in a series. The old, green, house collapsed in the high wind.
11. Separates prepositional, participial and infinitive phrases preceding the main clause. Having suffered heavy losses, the troops withdrew. To provide the incentive, Jones listed six options. After days of heavy filibustering, the Senate passed the bill.
Clauses
Clauses may have both a subject and verb but only one kind can stand alone. The independent clause can stand alone. The dependent clause can not. One way to construct a dependent clause is to attach a subordinate conjunction to it.
Example: He is nice. I like Bob. Because he is nice, I like Bob.
Examples of how to start sentences is simply using grammar.
Infinitive: To dream is relaxing.
Present Participial Phrase—using two sentences close in meaning then using one with the –ing form of the verb and combining the ideas:
Confounding the experts, Jones scored the touchdown.
Past Participial Phrase: Relieved of his problem, Jones was happy.
Gerund: Running is the newest craze.
Verb: Look for the best and brightest to lead the students. (“You” understood).
Example: He is nice. I like Bob. Because he is nice, I like Bob.
Examples of how to start sentences is simply using grammar.
Infinitive: To dream is relaxing.
Present Participial Phrase—using two sentences close in meaning then using one with the –ing form of the verb and combining the ideas:
Confounding the experts, Jones scored the touchdown.
Past Participial Phrase: Relieved of his problem, Jones was happy.
Gerund: Running is the newest craze.
Verb: Look for the best and brightest to lead the students. (“You” understood).
Phrases
A phrase contains either a subject or verb, but not both. There are two kinds of phrases used in sentences: prepositional phrases and verb phrases. The Prepositional Phrases are used mostly as adjectives or adverbs. There are three kinds of Verb Phrases or verbals: infinitives, used as nouns, adjectives or adverbs; and Participles, used as adjectives, and Gerunds, used as nouns.
Examples:
1. Prepositional Phrases.
The house with the red shutters is mine.
2. Infinitives:
(as nouns) To dream is wonderful.
(as objects) He wants to become King.
3. Participles (verbs used as adjectives)
The man reading the novel is my friend.
4. Gerunds (used as a subject or direct object):
(as subject) Reading can be fun.
(as object) She relaxes by reading. (reading is the direct object of buy).
Examples:
1. Prepositional Phrases.
The house with the red shutters is mine.
2. Infinitives:
(as nouns) To dream is wonderful.
(as objects) He wants to become King.
3. Participles (verbs used as adjectives)
The man reading the novel is my friend.
4. Gerunds (used as a subject or direct object):
(as subject) Reading can be fun.
(as object) She relaxes by reading. (reading is the direct object of buy).
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